A steep curve

Life has definitely not been quiet for the last few months. I don’t think anything can really fully prepare you for what a life with a newborn/infant would be like. Or at least perhaps I didn’t have a whole lot of a clue of how consuming it would all be. Sure some people told me sleep would be hard to score, sure he would need attention a lot, but very few went into specifics and perhaps I didn’t really listen well anyway. Well I definitely did not get a good enough preparation for how physically difficult postpartum would be but that’s a different story.

Anyway, would it have made a difference if I spent more than cursory amount of time with newborns or infants when I was younger? Maybe but really probably not. For me, as for a lot of new parents, until you are personally in the saddle, the reality of the end of YOUR days (and I’m sorry but once you have a child, your life as you led it before is over) and the need to accept that and adapt, became a key to survival. I’m still working on accepting it. Sleep is still a struggle on some days, so is performance anxiety but at least physically I no longer feel like I got totally wrecked. And my son is adorable. I live for his smiles and laughter which he gives with what seems like much forethought( the giggles, not the smiles-smiles are very much abundant :)). He’s learning constantly and doing and touching and leaning and wanting to do things his little body hasn’t mastered yet. And I do manage to read that aren’t total mush too!

I guess we will be learning each other for a long time to come.