Category Archives: Personal Reflections

Why Scarlett O’Hara is so very stupid

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I know I am a bit of topic here, since there is not even a wisp of Jewry anywhere in Gone with the Wind. But following my last review, I was reinspired to read it, for probably the third or fourth time. How did I not remember how stupid Scarlett’s “love” of Ashley was? It is truly a testament to how much I’ve grown up that I actually recognize patterns of stupid. Her feelings for him smack of a fourteen year old’s crush. This great love is not just a delusion, but frankly stupid stubborn behavior of a spoiled brat who doesn’t see the potential for real love and compatibility that’s in front of her the entire time. So so so stupid! I hate stupid.

From the fingertips of Eugenia S

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More Diverse Than You Think: Meet Be’chol Lashon

rabbiadar's avatarCoffee Shop Rabbi

Be’chol Lashon is Hebrew for “In Every Tongue.” It’s also the name of an organization that fosters “an expanding Jewish community that embraces its differences.” They’re very serious about it, sponsoring research, community projects, grants, and not least a remarkable website full of resources for education about the wild variety of Jews in the world.

Here in the United States, we have a tendency to think that most Jews are of Ashkenazi descent. In fact, even here in the US roughly 20% of the Jewish population is something else: Sephardic, Persian, African-American, Asian, Mizrahi – and there I’m talking solely about born Jews.  There are also a lot of us who don’t look Ashkenazi because we converted to Judaism, and our ancestors are Irish, Dutch, German, or from somewhere else, like the Pacific Islands.

Be’chol Lashon seeks to stand on our common ground of Torah while celebrating the differences among Jews worldwide. It’s…

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I’m baaaack!

Sorry been out of town doing helpful things for people. I promise I have a special something coming for all my readers and in the meantime here is my cat, Jimmy who missed me very much this weekend. He is practically sitting on me.

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From the fingertips of Eugenia S

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Jane vs Cathy or my review of How to be a Heroine

Samantha Ellis begins her book with a walk near the purported site for the house in Wuthering Heights. Ellis and her friend Emma are arguing over which heroine they found more inspirational. Ellis insisted on Cathy Earnshaw citing her unbridled passion and sense of adventure. Emma on the other hand defended Jane whose practicality and self awareness she found aspirational. Despite thinking Jane was rather an ice queen, Ellis began to entertain a thought that perhaps she misread her after all and decided that perhaps she misread other heroines throughout her life and they deserved a second chance. So here goes hers:

Once upon a time there was a little Iraqi Jewish girl living in London town. The little girl loved adventure and stories and derived an inordinate amount of pleasure from reading. She is raised on family stories, her mother her very first heroine. Her mother’s family lived in Iraq for generations until the 1950s when Iraqi Jews began to be persecuted. Ellis’ mother tried to escape Iraq via Kurdistan (so cool!), got captured, spent time in Iraqi prison, was able to get to London and was married to a nice Iraqi Jew before the age of 22 and commenced on doing her duty and raising her own family. But with the spirit of persecution hanging over them, the flight from their homeland pushed the Iraqi Jewish community even closer together raising the bar for familial expectations. From the stories of her family’s flight from Iraq to the stories of the obedient Queen Esther who saved her people from genocide, as a child Ellis was expected to ultimately be fulfilled with being a wife and a mother, a credit to her people. But she was caught between two worlds from her early days. Ever the early Disney girl, as she read The Little Mermaid, she caught on the subtle theme of entrapment. Like Ariel, Ellis was caught between the world of the family she loved and adventure that awaited her in world that books opened to her: the world of travel, imagination, passion, adventure and not necessarily a world of marriage as imagined for her. It took Ellis many years and many heroines to come to terms that she wanted something different for herself. Anne of Green Gables taught her it was OK to have imagination, Lizzy Bennet that she did not need to settle for anyone other than who she herself wanted, Scarlett O’Hara that it was OK to have spirit, Franny Glass that it was OK to be different, and finally back to her origins, Scheherazade taught her that ultimately story telling can save your life.

Ultimately Ellis’ book is about finding yourself and as a youngish woman of a certain age, I can identify. My own family’s expectations for me were impressed on me from the same young age as Ellis was. I may not have been raised in an Iraqi Jewish family, but let me tell you, a Ukrainian Jewish family is not different. At any rate, Ellis’ point is universal, nations may be different, but expectations are cross-cultural. Families most often than not want the same future for their children that their parents wanted for them: freer, brighter, more diverse, but the same future. My parents wanted me to marry young and have a family young, and though I didn’t have heroines to help guide me along, like Ellis, I wanted my future to be on my own terms. I used books as an escape, not necessarily from any particular fate or concern, but almost as a way to affirm that sticking to my own path was alright. I didn’t really need to find myself but what I needed from reading was to re-affirm that my own choices were strong and my own, not my parents’. I would like to think that I am still satisfied with sticking to my own little path.

Anyway, with so many heroines populating the book, I got me some reading and possible re-reading to do. I’ve been meaning to try out Wuthering Heights again and I strongly suspect I’ll be coming down on the side of Jane Eyre over Cathy. I stumbled over so many potential stories to hear for the first time or for the tenth.

I hope that you guys will give this book a read as well and enjoy it as much as I did. And I am off to the land of Gone with the Wind which I picked up pretty much as soon as I finished this.

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From the fingertips of Eugenia S

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21 Emotional Stages Of Waiting To Read The Next Book In A Series

http://www.buzzfeed.com/farrahnicole/21-emotional-stages-of-waiting-to-read-the-next-bo-14ow5#.yu6VD0MaO

From the fingertips of Eugenia S

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Today marks a sad anniversary in my life

I remember a phone call that came in the evening of a cold January day. My mom was on the other line. Her older sister who lived in Israel was getting the results of her tests that day. For a few months she’d been having problems with her memory, headaches and balance problems. I don’t remember what words my mom used, all I remember is sliding to the floor and crying. Cancer. Brain tumor. Large.

When I was growing up, I saw my aunt M every few months. She still lived in the city capital of our county, Vinnitsa, the same city mom grew up in and lived in until she married my father. We would always go to her family’s apartment, where she would load us on food, and I would get lost in all the books while the adults talked. My aunt was a reader, just like mom and me. I remember this one visit where I came to stay with her for a whole week! On my own! And of course I got sick and got sent home early because she couldn’t take care of me because of her job schedule but anyway. I just sat around with aunt M while she showed me family photos and read to me: Little Prince, Moomi Troll. Whenever she stepped out the room, I would sneakily open the glass doors of the bookshelves and peak at her grown up books. I loved aunt M’s collection…..

Aunt M died three months after getting diagnosed. Her tumor was inoperable. By the time she passed April 17, 2005, I was just happy she was no longer in pain. My heart bled for three months she was dying. I remember her voice, I remember her smell so like mom’s, I remember her books, and her love. I never stop missing the days when she shared her everything with me. I love you.
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Aunt M, me, and mom on the eve of her move to Israel.

From the fingertips of Eugenia S

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Yom Ha-Shoah

I’m turning into a reblog queen here. I am probably going to review Maus soon, rather in solidarity with today.

sjewindy's avatarA Humanistic Jew Goes to Washington

Yehuda Bauer and others have observed that genocide, while inhumane, is not foreign to humanity at large. Humans are remarkably good at ignoring the prospect of punishment for their misdeeds–they were long before Hitler, and they have continued to be so–assuming, of course, that they viewed their murders as misdeeds. The field of genocide studies suggests some perpetrators did not view their actions as moral wrongs. And humans are remarkably able through cognitive dissonance to ameliorate or obliterate their own personal senses of guilt.

Specific genocides are special. But genocide, no matter where it occurs, though evil, is also thoroughly human. It is up to us to prevent and stop it, though we may never see its end.

Thoughts this Yom Ha-Shoah, the 70th anniversary year of the end of World War II and the Nazi Holocaust.

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Had to share this beautiful story

From Holocaust Survivor to Houston Baker: The Incredible Story of Sigmund Jucker and Three Brothers Bakery

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Guess where I went?

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#libraryhaul April 14, 2015. From two libraries! Go #BerkeleyPublicLibrary and #SanFranciscoPublicLibrary!

From the fingertips of Eugenia S

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Jewish? Want a Saturday wedding? Find a Humanistic Jew.

sjewindy's avatarA Humanistic Jew Goes to Washington

Rabbi Ruth Adar, the Coffee Shop Rabbi, has a post explaining why it’s so difficult for Jews to get married on a Saturday. She gives three basic reasons:

  • Tradition: weddings are, in part, about tradition, and traditionally this is a sacrifice Jews have made. The tradition reason is a sort of emanation from two other reasons:
  • Shabbat: halakhically, Shabbat and a number of other Jewish holidays are off-limits for weddings, and the special nature of Shabbat and its biblical bases in particular militate toward leaving Shabbat as a day without weddings,etc.; and
  • Rabbis: most rabbis will not officiate on Shabbat, because Shabbat is the preeminent Jewish day of the week, rabbis care deeply about Jewish tradition, and rabbis have erected boundaries to permit their own observance of the holiday.

"Mazel Tov! wedding" by Brian Johnson - originally posted to Flickr as Mazel Tov!. Licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons - http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Mazel_Tov!_wedding.jpg#/media/File:Mazel_Tov!_wedding.jpg “Mazel Tov! wedding” by Brian Johnson – originally posted to Flickr as Mazel Tov!. Licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0 via…

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