The fearful ten minute challenge

The lovely Writestuff! (why don’t I know your name?) tagged me in a challenge, and holy crap, why would you do this to me? I am no writer! But….challenge….accepted!

The Rules for the Freestyle Writing Challenge:

1. Open an MS Word document.
–2. Set a stop watch or your mobile to 5 minutes or 10 minutes whichever challenge you think you can beat.
–3. You topic is at the foot of this post BUT DO NOT SCROLL DOWN TO SEE IT UNTIL YOU ARE READY WITH A TIMER.
4. Fill the word doc with as many words as you want.
5. Once you began writing do not stop even to turn.
6. Do not cheat by going back and correcting spellings and grammar with spell check in MS WORD (it is only meant for you to reflect on your own control of sensible thought flow and for you to reflect on your ability to write the right spelling and stick to grammar rules)
7. You may or may not pay attention to punctuation and CAPITALS.
8. However if you do, it would be best. At the end of your post write down No. of words =_____’ so that we would have an idea of how much you can write within the time frame.
9. Do not forget to copy paste the entire passage on your blog post with a new Topic for your nominees and copy paste these rules with your nominations (at least 3 bloggers).

The five minute challenge felt too short so instead here is the ten minute challenge with the word fear.

I don’t think I knew the meaning of the word fear until two months ago. For majority of my life, the things that I “feared” were mostly mundane things: what would my hair look like, was this dress making me look fat, would I make it to work on time, would I get a ticket if I was speeding, and so on. I lived to the ripe adult age of 32 without experiencing fear until May 14^th, 2015 when I learned that my mother had lymphoma. It was then when fear struck me more than through my body. It struck me through my every cell. My mother’s older sister passed away in 2005 at the age of 59, three months after being diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. My maternal grandmother passed away in 1959 when she was 43 from stomach cancer after suffering for what I’ve been told, a year. With the specters of one woman who I never met and one woman who I loved like a second mother, I was terrified that despite my prayers over the years, death was after all coming for my beloved mother. And sadly, my fear turned out to be a reality. And now I am afraid all the time. For myself, for my fiancé, for my father, for my brother, for the rest of my family, for my friends. I am not consumed by fear because I am trying to stay sane through this ordeal. But even so I am deeply afraid. There are suddenly so many clichés that are true, so many existential thoughts and fears. How do I stop myself from blame? How do I stop fearing my future when my present has changed inevitably? I don’t have any answers but on the 1^st month anniversary of my mother’s early passing, I try to tell myself that she is with so I need not be afraid that she is gone. I light a candle and remind myself that she is in my heart, in my mind and in every cell of my body and fear has no place in me because my mother is there to protect me from the monsters. At least that’s what I am telling myself. She is always going to protect me like she did when I was nine and refused to sleep alone.

No. of words= 390

My nominees are:

 Whoever finds this interesting.

Your word is also fear.