My love

It’s been a quiet last few months, my dear friends and readers. Or has it been more like a year since I sat down at my laptop to offer you thoughts and musings? I have been reading, don’t get me wrong. I have been trying to do my very best to keep my connections as open as can be but of course with life changes, timing changes and availability changes and priority is given to self-care and brief moments of quiet with much less time given to other outlets.

My son, the love of my life as it turns out, will be 15 months come this Friday. And in these 15 months, and really in the 9 months prior to his arrival, my life ceased to be my own. Once I was pregnant, and held a life within me, and then held that same life in my own hands, all the fragility became my priority. I am still myself, still the reader, still the contemplator, the procrastinator, the daughter, sister, friend and wife, but I am also now mama to my precious, for the lack of a better suited word, son. He drives me crazy with his tantrums, with refusing to put things down he shouldn’t be touching, for climbing the heights that I have to yank him off of, and yet my heart burns with love when he giggles when he is tickled, when he full belly laughs when he is play wrestled and lifted up and down and swung around. I love my son more than I could have dreamt up and I now fully understand what my mother said to me for years. Yes, now that I have my own, I understand completely.

And yet…..I am still here. I still share interesting articles, I still share books that have been put out for Jewish consumption, because in these strangely anti-Semitic times, my half Jewish son needs to know that his mother is contributing even a tiny morsel to the positive imagery of our people. So I will continue to share my tiny contributions and I will return to sharing my own reads, both for my son’s sake and for my own. I may have many things to do, I may have much love to give and far less time, but I am still committed to bringing Jewish life to the rest of the world. We are people, we are not caricatures drawn by hatred and fear. We are Jews and we will continue to be here, myself, my family and the love of my life.

 

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February 18, 2019 · 10:56 pm

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